


Worse Things Happen At Sea

by Kt_fairy



Series: Like real people do [4]
Category: Actor RPF, British Actor RPF, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Gen, Invasions of Privacy, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, over use of lavender, unsuccessful attempts at being dysfunctional
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-28
Packaged: 2018-02-03 21:36:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1757597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kt_fairy/pseuds/Kt_fairy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“They were…they were in the grounds!” Lee snapped, obviously furious, snatching his phone from where Richard was holding it loosely.” "What the fucking...you can't pick your nose in this hotel without security everywhere. How the hell..."</p><p>or</p><p>How one paparazzi can turn your world upside down, unless you're too stubborn and too in love to let it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which The Incident occurs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: mentions of smoking weed recreationally
> 
> (and there is no venom behind Richard's view on the French, just the national stereotypes none of us can avoid)

  Sun-drenched rolling countryside, a blanket of browns and yellows and reds if not for the odd patch of green cypress, the scent of lavender brought in by the breeze from the flashes of the purple fields in the distance. The heat nestled against your skin in a pleasant sort of a way when you were static or strolling, the cicadas a constant noise that became easier to bare as time went on, the sound of water strangely comforting, and the cloudless pale blue sky seemed to make everything that much warmer.

  Richard ducked back under his sunshade and pulled at face at his Kindle- he was more a dramatic forest and stone landscape man himself. Northern Europe was in his blood and the skies down here were never the right shade of blue; give him the solid, comforting deep blue of a Northern spring afternoon any day.

 “Monsieur, vos boissons.” A overly polite voice broken the gentle sounds around him and he looked up at the _poor_ put upon waiter bringing drinks to the hotel guests by the pool. “C’est à moi. Prenez ces deux et mettez-les là.” He pointed to the table that was just in the coolness cast by his shade and watched the elegant glasses being placed down with a flourish.“Merci”, He said in a voice that matched the waiters face as he handed over the tip Lee insisted on leaving, exchanging half-hearted smiles before the waiter hurried off.

  Richard honestly had nothing against the French, fully aware most of his irritation was because of long ingrained stereotypes, but whenever he came to France was always the one that did their bit to cement the international relations between their two countries.

“Anyone would think you weren’t all one big European family.” Lee’s voice called from the direction of the pool followed by a slosh of water.

“Yeah- the cousin you utterly hate for being a rude, pretentious…”

“They’ll spit in your food."

“They prize it too dearly to do that to it. Now American food...” Richard smiled at the sound of laugher and took a sip of his drink – French wine was so good he could almost forgive the temperament of the waiter.

There was the sound of wet feet on the stone and Orla, his co-star yet again, stepped around the sunshade to elegantly scoop up her drink, sinking down next to him as a cicada gave quite a loud, clacking burst. “You all right up here on your own?”

“Yeah, got a book,” He nudged his shoulder against hers, “and you coming to check on me so I really can’t be sad at being stuck under here.”

Damp, sun-warmed arms circled his waist as she lent her chin on his shoulder, “I’d be gladly stuck under here with you.” She declared as she gave him a squeeze.

“Lies.”

“Nearly lies. I do love you darling, if only you could be mine!”

Richard smiled, leaning to the side just enough to look in her fond, beautiful eyes, “Say the word and we’ll run away together…”

“To Gretna Green?”

Richard bust out laughing, “If you want, love, if you want.” She gave him a warm smile and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

“Hey!” They both started at the sudden drawl, the sun shade hiding the shadow a of dripping wet Lee Pace looming over them with his hands on his hips. “What’s all this talk?”

After a pause Orla pulled her arms from around Richard and pretended to fling herself in front of him, “He’s comin’ with me Pace…” She declared, “…don’t be making this harder on yourself. Just let us go and no-one need be harmed.”

“This true, Richard? You abandonin’ me after all this time.” Lee grunted.

It took Richard a moment to control his laughter before gasping out an, “It’s true!”

“I won’t let’cha!” Lee shouted, drawing the attention of the other cast and crew around the pool as he gently flung Orla to the side where she gracefully draped herself over the next sun-couch, and jumped on Richard. “I been tryin’ ma’ best and even if it ain’t enough I do love ya’. I’ll change ma’ ways!”

Richard put his palms on Lee’s wet chest and tried to stop him laying on him completely, “Ge'off, mind the Kindle!”

“I’ll kindle our passion again, I will ma’ darlin’. Don’t leave me!” Lee cried over Orla’s lyrical laugher.

“Oh my goodness, Lee!” Richard groaned as he tried to shove him away only to have Lee rub his wet hair over his face. “That’s it…” Richard surged forward as Lee scrambled up and shot off onto the pristine lawn between the pool and the outdoor restaurant with Richard hot on his heels.

“You’re…woah… you’re not supposed to be in the sun! _You’re not supposed to be in the sun_!” Lee yelled as he dodged a lung for his waist.

“They’ll understand when I tell them it was to kick your arse.” Richard growled, catching Lee by the leg and they both crashed to the ground with a thud.

                                                         ------------------------------------------------

   Filming had not gone on too late (or early depending on your world view) in to the morning and Richard had woken up with laziness in his joints to a wonderfully empty bed.

  Lee had friends living in France as well as a few in the crew so they had gone out while the night shoot was on. Richard did not mind being left, Lee was a social animal who had promised not to crash in between four am to one pm and wake Richard up - which he really would mind.

 Breakfast was ordered while still in bed so he had impetus to actually get up and there was an attempt to read the French news whilst eating, something he did every day to improve his grasp of the language, but today his brain was still in bed so he gave up. Not really in the mood for doom and gloom he had a good long sigh at the world before dropping his iPad down onto the table and took a moment to look out of the balcony windows at the view across the local village and into the endless countryside.

  The sleepy feeling in his muscles had not gone, his body needed waking up, so he went through Lee’s side of the wardrobe to find the Yoga mat the hotel had provided and dragged everything into the second bedroom in the suite which had become the unofficial work out room.

 Years ago, while at drama school, one of his had friends raved about yoga and dragged them all along telling them it would leave them feeling exhilarated and energised. It was, to Richard and Alice (the other ex-dancer in their friendship group), an education on how inflexible most people were. He had known the yoga teacher expected someone of his build and bearing to be stiff, and he had had tried to not be insulted at the surprise in her voice when he pulled himself into the easily held positions. She had no idea he had been made to stretch and stretch and stretch since the age of six, had spent a lot of time with Madame holding his leg higher than it wanted to go or pressing his foot into the perfect point with her own.#

 Richard was half way through the ‘Super Stretch’ routine (Lee had categorised the sessions his instructor gave them as ‘Lee can do’ ‘Hard for Lee’ ‘Super Stretch’ ‘Why?’ and ‘Fuck’) when there was a faint sound of chatter at the suite door. He opened his eyes, listening to the whirr of the key-card and voices filled the suite.

  “Shhhh! Guys! Richard might be asleep.” He heard Lee whisper as he crept to the master bedroom, “Oh….Rich? RICH?” Richard listened as Lee went and checked the bathrooms and the balcony, tracking the sound of his trainers on the tiled floor as he moved back into the main room. “Huh, not here…”

  Richard was about to call out when the chatter started up again so he fell silent. A mixture of that sudden wave of crippling shyness that would well up without warning, and that he was in work out gear, had not showered and really did not want to hang around with strangers today. So now he was going to have to hide until they left or wait for a moment to sneak out and pretend he had just gotten in. Fucking hell this was ridiculous, he was a fully grown man! He did a few hamstring and calf stretches so that it would not be utterly mortifying if he got walked in on and half listened to the suite being nosed around before there were goodbyes and Lee ushered who was left out onto the balcony.

  He crept to the door and was just about to open it when he heard someone come out of the bathroom and move across to the balcony, pausing for a long moment before the chatter grew louder as screen door was pushed open. “Hey Lee, this your guy?”

What! What?

“Yeah…” Lee’s faint voice sounded shocked, “… yeah that’s him where did you…?”

“Let me see!” “Oh heeeeeyyyyy.” “Wow! Lee! I feel fat why did you let me get McDonalds?” “No wonder you’re so chill these days!.” Lee's friends all spoke over one another, Richard catching snatches of what they were saying and felt his ears heat.

 _‘Its fine_ ,’ Richard told himself sharply. _‘It’s fine, just friends teasing one another. You can’t sulk because you’re snooping here so don’t start …_ ’

“You should have brought him out last night, dude.” “They were filming! Why he came out with us, you remember how he was at college, had to drag him away from a piece of ass. Probably even harder to drag him away from this one by the looks of it…”

_‘…fuck.’_

The heat out on the balcony was suffocating compared to the cool air conditioned suite, the sun warmed stone, the scent of which filled the air, doing it’s best to burn his feet. Richard was met by a sea of stunned faces, some not so surreptitiously hiding their joints. Lee shot up from where he was sat, looking as guilty as Carl when they would come home to find something broken or the bin all over the floor.

“Morning guys, how was last night?” Richard said, noting he adopted that chipper tone his mum would use in public which warned that as soon as you were in private you were going to get a smack. There was a general demure of it being a nice time, eyes glancing at Lee who remained silent.

“How was shooting?”

“Good, good- would say it was tiring but I could be working for a living!”

They all shuffled off not long after that, Lee closing the door behind his friends with a sigh and moved over to sit at the table by the now closed balcony doors, waiting for Richard to sit down next to him before he spoke. “Sorry about, ya know, letting them light up…”

“You know I don't mind that.”

“I know how it sounded, and you’d be mostly right but… they’re not like that, Rich. You know me, wouldn't be friends with 'em if they kept talkin' like that. I was too shocked … he found them so casually…” Lee looked suddenly angry and it made a cold, heavy tightness settle on Richard’s stomach.

“What were they looking at?”

“Umm…” Lee looked around for a moment before pulling out his phone, typing and scrolling before handing it over. “…we’ve been long lensed.”

 It was a gossip site that had photo’s up of them; one of Orla with her arms around Richard’s middle as he leant his head against hers, one of Lee crawling onto Richard that looked a lot more suggestive than it really had been and three photo’s that documented Richard chasing Lee, Richard catching Lee, and them wrestling on the ground.

 He thought he should be angry or outraged, be shocked at least, but there was no reaction at all as he flicked through the gallery. He scanned over the article that did not really say anything but the implication was more than enough to snowball this; there were already rumours that skimmed far too close to the facts. But, it was just a slow news day, tomorrow there would be an unflattering photograph of some poor woman just trying to enjoy the beach spread everywhere and it would move on from them. Hopefully…no, no it would. It’s how things worked, people were easily bored and the gossip business was forever rolling on. At least Lee, with his long, lithe, perfectly proportioned tanned body looked pretty dam amazing in his trunks – Richard was not sure he would be being quite so philosophical if he had not been wearing shorts and a linen shirt.

  Richard looked over them again, working out the angle they were taken from. “Oh…” There was the shock, and here comes the anger quickly followed by a tinge of fear,“…fuck. Fuck I heard the camera go off.”

“What?” Lee bit out, hazy eyes that had been watching him the whole time suddenly hard. 

“I heard the shutter when Orla came and sat down. I thought it was cicadas. Shit.”

“They were…they were in the grounds!” Lee snapped, obviously furious, snatching his phone from where Richard was holding it loosely.” "What the fucking...you can't pick your nose in this hotel without security everywhere. How the hell...”

“What are you doing?”

“Calling the producer, then the hotel manager, then my publicist and then I’m booking flights.”

“Let me speak to the...flights?”

“Yeah, away from here.”

“You’re leaving? Don’t…I don’t want you to…You’re leaving me to deal with this on my own aren’t you?”

Lee stopped pacing and lowered his phone. “No!”

“Thank you very much for the free holiday Richard, now it’s got a little uncomfortable I’m off- have fun!”

“They’ll try and catch us together.”

“They won’t do any such thing! And if they do, they won’t get anything damaging. Not like I’m gonna drop to my knees and blow you in the middle of the village square is it?”

“Unfortunately…” Lee had the good grace to look ashamed when Richard glared at him. “I’ll call the producer and studio rep to tell them pap’s got into the hotel.”

Richard looked at Lee for a moment, the half smile on his lips as sharp as his eyes, a line appearing on his brow where he was trying not to scowl, jaw rigid. Anger did not suit Lee, stress and worry even less so. He was like sweet little Adam Brown, he should only ever be happy and you wanted to make the world a nicer place so he could be. Richard dropped his eyes to the table top and let out a bigger sigh than he meant to.

“…darlin’?”

“Life was so conveniently boring without you, Lee.” Richard said quietly as he tipped his head back to look at him. 

Lee stayed silent for a moment, angry eyes trailing over Richard’s face looking for something before a complete change came over him, a smile bloomed and seemed to spread all over his body. “Us trouble makers been makin’ and breakin’ hearts for as long as there’s in been a sun in that sky.” His face became serious as he bent down to kiss Richard’s forehead. “Not that I’ll ever break yours.”

“Me neither.” Richard smiled up at Lee, mentally waving goodbye to his nice quiet day off as he got up and headed towards the bedroom. “I’m gonna go talk to the manager, don’t suppose yoga clothes are very scary.”

“Well you look like you’re ready to chase him so I’d stick with that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell I'm soaking up the much needed summer sunshine?


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which other people fail to see the real issue at hand, Lee mopes, Orla is a darling, and family arrive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: discussions of sexuality.

Lee had been touched when Richard refused to let him leave as part of damage control.

 He knew couples’ who were together much longer, with stronger relationships than their own, who still scattered as soon as there was even a whiff of being discovered. It had never been his place to hate that this was their normal, never been his place to hate this weird image bubble their job put them in because it was not his relationship and as long as it worked for them Lee would have to keep his mouth shut. He kind of hated himself for even suggesting it, always thought being in love meant you were never scared but the loss of this, something he had looked too close in the face for comfort, terrified him. Lee smiled to himself, thinking about that wilfulness Richard kept so well hidden under unassuming smiles and nerdy rambles, how belligerent he became when riled, and, although sometimes those things made Lee throw his hands up in exasperation, he did not know where they would be without them.

 Their publicists had eventually called them after talking to each other to make the badly met suggestion that Lee take a trip down to Milan to let things quieten down a bit.  Richard’s growing scowl was a worry until he sulkily admitted, “But I want to go to Milan!”

 The Paparazzi had never been a problem for either of them; most photographs snapped of them out and about were from fans who (nearly) always asked permission, and even without asking they did not sneak into where they were staying and wait _in a bush_. Hiding their relationship away like it was something scandalous was neither of their style, nor did they walk through Times Square with their hands in each others back pockets- which is what Lee’s publicist had seemed to think had happened judging by his reaction. That Lee had to reminded the guy this was not bad because people might find out but because someone had _hid in a bush_ taking photographs was everything he still despaired about LA.

  Yet Lee would be dammed if people made a buck shoving theme out into the limelight and drag poor Orla with them. He was ready to demand their deletion on principal, knowing full well they were forever on the internet, until she reminded him that would just get more attention, “Just keep on being boring and it’ll go away, my bikini body's already been picked over”. They were hardly the most exciting people in the world; all the skill of Richard’s stylist had not been able to wrestle him out of cardigans! Whoever heard of anyone who owned more that five cardigans make the gossip pages! World gone mad!

 Visiting each other on set was not something they did, even when they were on the same sound stage in the Hobbit hopping across to see one another had only been for when one of them was having a particularly hard week. Today, as he stepped off the chilly plane into the same warm breeze he left five days ago, Lee decided he had had a bad week and got Siri to translate his directions to the set for the taxi driver. Lee had enjoyed Milan, not one to waste opportunities, he would admit he moped around city a little but that was only because he had missed what he had been looking forward to, the arrival of Abe and Richard's sister-in-law.

  Said nephew was scaling a staircase in the artfully ruined castle reciting what sounded like a mixture of Star Wars and Henry V, watched over by Richard and the stunt guys, when Lee was escorted onto set. Abe spotted him easily from his high perch and waved what looked like one of the props at him furiously while yelling out his name. It was not the surprise Lee had hoped for but the flash of a beaming smile that Richard did not try to hide when he turned made Lee happy to throw all his plans to the wind.

  Richard was helping Abe down when Lee strode up to them, dropping down to give the boy a hug, marvelling at how he was shooting up. It would not be long before he hit the teens and they would have to leave him alone for seven years, the same with Lee’s nephew’s and nieces- the tragedy of seeing them grow!

 He listened dutifully while Abe gabbled about something before positions were called and everyone started shuffling around. Lee gently cupped Richard’s face in his hand as he took a moment to look at him, smiling slightly at the faint traces of mascara making his lashes even darker and eyes even brighter (not missing the look Richard shot him) dipping to give him a firm peck on the lips before leading Abe away to find his mother.

 He regaled Susan with tales of Milan and Daniel Day-Lewis, dispersed with telling Abe bits about working for Marvel that somehow filled the whole of the afternoon as suddenly Richard was there in flip flops with Orla hanging off his arm. “I’ve persuaded this one to let his hair down and come into the village for dinner, I found a delightful family run Bistro near the centre last week and we must go.”

“Sounds great, doesn’t it Mum?” Abe said before anyone could speak, eyes fixed on Orla.

“Y-yes sweety, sound's lovely." Susan pressed her lips together to stop herself laughing, "Are you going back to the hotel first?”

"If you're going back can I come?" 

“Oh yes of course,” Orla laughed, ruffling a blushing Abe’s hair, “us Royals never have any money on us.”

“We can always make Lee pay.” Richard spoke up, grinning at the two women who agreed loudly.

“Heeey, are you even allowed out in this much sun, you need your parasol?”

“No, got some of the stuff you use to stop the post Twilight sparkling.”

“Come on boys…” Susan called as she shepherded Abe over to the waiting car.

 Richard shrugged, doing a perfectly deep Baroque bow.“Until next time, mon ennemi mortel.”

“Gosh I missed you, you massive dork.” Lee gushed, pulling Richard into a tight hug, turning a smile into his hair when Richard flailed.

“I supposed I missed you too.” He muttered into Lee’s neck, giggling as Lee burst out laughing.

 Dinner was loud and rich and candle lit and utterly superb. The woman who owned the Bistro spoiled Abe rotten and the wine tasted like Richard, or did Richard taste like wine? Lee found he did not care as he squeezed Richard’s knee under the table and joined in with the spirit of the song currently going around the room.

 It was a lovely, still, warm night as they walked back up the hill to the hotel, the stars incredibly bright and close in the indigo sky. Richard made as if to slip his hand into Lee’s but instead held his hands behind his own back, a painful reminder of the need Ned had to just hold Chuck’s hand and Lee had a momentary vision of burning down every zoom lens factory in the world before bumping their shoulders. “As soon as a pretty face turns up we’re no-one.” Lee nodded at Abe who was walking between his Mom and Orla.

“Will probably develop a thing for strong red- heads, his life will never be dull that’s for sure.”

“Well, if he has his uncle’s taste then he can’t go far wrong.” Lee grinned as Richard shook his head with a smile.

“That would be very awkward.” Lee held his own hands behind his back and squeezed hard.

“Do you ever think… are we hiding?” Richard said apropos of nothing and it took a moment for Lee to follow.

“I suppose we are.”

Richard shook his head again and kicked a pine cone so it skittered out into the road. “It’s shit.”

“I know.”

“Were were hiding before? I know we weren’t exactly skipping around waving rainbow flags but…”

“We just got on with it; all your British keeping calm and carrying on.” Lee said quietly, knowing a road side was not exactly the best place for this conversation but in the past they seemed to have worked for them. “Probably lying through omission I suppose. Everyone pretty much know’s I’m gay, never hid it,” Lee paused, “and no-one was ever sure about you.”

Richard just shrugged, “I just love who I love. I don’t really see why I have to put it in a compartment all nicely labelled so other people can find it easier to digest. We can’t call ourselves human’s if we are not infinitely complicated and varied.”

“I can’t work out if this is philosophical drunk Richard or been left to his own thoughts for four days Richard.”

 “Bit of both probably.”

They walked along in silence until the lights of the hotel become visible and Richard stopped, taking a moment to look up at the stars. “I will admit, the sky out here is fabulous.”

“Not as good as New Zealand skies.”

Richard let go of his own hands and reached out to take Lee’s. “Those were…I always thought the skies at home- out of the city- were beautiful, better than London and New York at any rate. But New Zealand… that country is so beautiful.”

“We should go back…”

“Come on you two, stop snogging in the bushes!” Susan’s voice came out of the darkness making them both jump.

“Unless you’re doing something else in the bushes then we'll come to you.” Orla called and Lee thought he could see the red of Richard’s blush through the darkness.

                                                                                                               

 

 

 

                                                                       

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Richard reacts badly to the drama, the women in his life are awesome, and Lee is adorable.

Change was great. Change was vital. Change is what destroyed small pox and gave women the vote. Change outlawed slavery and made the internet.

 Change was dangerous; Richard had become nervous of it when it applied to him, to Lee- to them. They had only just recovered from the fall out of the first change in their relationship, leaving the safe bubble of New Zealand, having to change their relationship and their old lives to fit in misshapen, irregular holes.

  Richard was all for the ignoring the photographs as friends mucking around (the photo of Lee half on Richard’s lap became less suggestive when the rest were released), that was all it had been, despite everything else between them right in that moment they had been friends. It should not have meant change but now managers and PR people and agents had a say. It was only their job, stuff like this was what Lee and Richard paid them for, only now it felt like they were no longer a private relationship but a merging of businesses.

  And Richard hated it. Hated that someone on Lee’s team was trying to persuade him them to sue, hated that he had to tell Lee to put his foot down. Can you imagine if the British press heard Lee was suing over some supposedly innocent photographs? They might as well set up a live feed in Piccadilly Circus of them fucking.

  Professional as always he did not let all this affect his work. If he showed any signs of his near constant worry no one said anything, and Richard was worrying; in the shower, in bed, in wardrobe, at lunch, in make-up. If Tami were here she would see straight away and talk sense into Richard via wine. God he wished Tami was here.

“Tami, I wish you were here…”

“You want me to come? I’ll come right now if you need me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous you’re all the way in Canada.”

“Work comes second to friends. You say the word and I’ll come.”

“No…no I’ll be fine. I’m just getting worked up again.”

“Honestly, I’ll come. Even if you’re half sure you want me, I won’t mind. I can meet your friend Orla.” She waggled her eyebrows at him over Skype and Richard sighed

“You’re terrible.”

“So shoot me, I’m only human and you’re tragically off limits- being a guy and all.”

“I’m so sorry for my DNA.”

“I forgive you. You sure you’re good?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“I’ll send you a mix tape of my wisdom to keep you sane.”

“Will it say ‘ _drink more Tequila_ ’ and ‘ _make me your maid of honour_ ’?”

“You bet it will!”

Richard had laughed and felt immediately better. Which only lasted four hours as that was when Lee’s publicists emailed and he swore that man was holding him responsible for every set back Lee had ever faced in his life. Lee noticed, of course Lee noticed. He was too good an actor, too good a friend and too good a lover not to. He demanded his team quieten down not long after, Richard pretending not to listen as he had several long, terse conversations with them.

 Luckily French privacy laws swung into motion and steps were taken to stop it happening again, but it did not help the oppressive feeling of the public gaze Richard had learnt to deal with while in Wellington. Why could it not be just his work, his product, (his art if he was feeling a little pretentious) - why did they want to have his private life as well. Not his fans though, his fans were intelligent and respectful and would take whatever he shared with them and no more.

  He was broken out of his grinding thoughts by a hand, Lee’s hand, running up his leg to curl over his hip. Richard looked up at Lee’s face in the half lighting coming in through the window, even with slanting shadows his face still had that endearing softness to it that deep down Richard still kind of wished for his own face.

 Eye contact seemed to be some sort of permission as Lee scooted forward until he was pressed against Richard. That he was bigger than him was a comfort, he had never really been engulfed by anyone since he was fourteen and the strength in Lee’s body made Richard want to burrow into his familiar fresh scent and never leave. Secure hands ran over his sides and back in soft sweeps as warm kisses were pressed to his cheek and temples and hair, “I can hear your gears grinding from the bathroom.”

“I’m trying to…”

“I know you are. When this filming is done we’ll hop down to Milan, and then we’ll go wherever you need to go for the month before I start rehearsing so you can relax again.” Lee pressed fingertips into Richard’s shoulders, “You feel like you’re gonna die tomorrow.”

A slightly hysterical laugh bubbled up in Richard’s throat, “Doesn’t help being naturally anxious.”

“Well that can’t be helped. We’ll survive whatever is thrown at us, Richard, mind, body, and soul. It’s not perfect; we’re stumbling around in this relationship like the idiots we are...”, Richard huffed a laugh and felt Lee smile into his neck, “…so this will just be another hurdle to tell tales about when we’re sat on our porch drinking lemonade you made because I nearly set it on fire.”

  That made Richard laugh, clapping a hand over his mouth as it echoed around the room. He felt the slight flutter of his heart calm in his chest to it’s normal pace, felt the muscle in his jaw he did not know was clenched start to relax. Worrying never improved a situation anyway.

 Lee’s hands began to skim lower and Richard hummed, he supposed this is what a cat felt like being stroked. It was nice, very nice, but when hot fingers skimmed the swell of his arse he knew that he did not want that. He let Lee touch him again like that to try and want it, but he could not. “Lee…”He gently grasped his wrist and moved it back to his side. “I can’t, I...”

“It’s okay.” Lee’s hand moved again, around to the front this time. He was just trying to offer support and comfort, show his love, brand it into him for the millionth time, but Richard found he could not bare the thought of that either and had to move Lee’s hand again. “I don’t think…I can’t do that tonight either, I can’t ... I’ve gone all…I can’t explain it I just know I don’t want to be touched…”

“Is this cuddling okay? Are my hands on you too much?”

“No, no that’s fine.” Richard felt a silly, and felt even sillier because he knew he should not in the first place. He had lived like this his whole life but all Lee had to work with was his sometimes laughably inarticulate explanations of what was going on in his head, yet he had understood a lot quicker than anyone else had. “That’s lovely.” It was wonderful when Lee wrapped himself around him tighter, nuzzling into his hair as Richard turned to lean his cheek on Lee’s chest so he could breathe cool air. “Love you, sorry.”

“I keep tellin’ you its noting to be sorry for. I just want you happy, is all. And I love you too.”

                                                                                                ----------------------------------------

Abe was sulking. He was not prone to sulks but they were getting more frequent the older he got. Besides, Richard thought, you could not blame the kid. He had to leave sunshine, a pool, a cool hotel room, and Orla, for school.

If Richard had to leave all of this for school he would probably be in tears.

“So, there’s been no more sneaky photographers while I’ve been here?” Susan asked over breakfast as Lee tried to perk Abe up.

“Not since the Gendarme’s sent that bloke on his way.” Her smaller hand covered his on the crisp white table cloth,

“And there’re been no trouble.”

“You gonna send the boys around if there is?”

“Now you’ve given me the idea I might do.”

“No trouble from anyone, don’t worry.”

“I do worry! and so does Chris ‘though he won’t admit he still worries about his little brother. You know what your mum’s like, she’s terrified of what people will say about you…”

“Yes I know what mum’s like…”

“No, she doesn’t want people being cruel about her boy.” She took a breath and gave him a significant look. “I know that feeling.”

“Are you telling me to be more careful for your sakes?”

“I want to, but that’s selfish and not how a family behaves, is it? So let’s say I’m letting you know you can count on us if you start getting bothered.”

“Thanks.” Richard gave her a half smile as she squeezed his hand and went back to her breakfast.

“I’m surprised Chris didn’t come if he knew about the paparazzi.”

“Oh he does not know, trust me. I only found out from Lee. Your love life is still too boring for tabloid press.”

Richard huffed a laugh as he glanced over a still glum looking Abe chasing bit’s of croissant around his plate dejectedly. “Hey,” He leant down to stage whisper to Abe, “If you’re very good, and pay attention at school and try as hard as you can, I’ll ask your Mum and Dad if you can come to America with me and Lee in the summer holidays.”

Abe immediately perked up, nearly head butting Richard in the face as he leapt around to look at him, small hands grabbing his sleeve. “Really? Really Richard? With the both of you? Will we get to go to Lee’s parent’s house? Will Evangeline be there?”

Richard tried not to laugh as Lee chocked on his drink and Susan pretended not to hear. Tickets had already been booked for the three of them to come out and visit for three weeks but it had been decided to let Abe feel like he earnt it, get some life lessons in before he hit the free-for-all of secondary school. “Yes but you have to do your best, be extra good, and your Mum and Dad have to say yes first.”

 Abe was a changed boy, happily running around picking up bags to be loaded into the taxi, bounding up to give Lee and Richard big hugs before settling himself into the back of the car patiently.

“You look after him now, I know you’re sneaking off to Italy – the hard life you lead- so keep him away from too much wine and ice-cream or you’ll have to roll him on the plane home.” Susan said as she gave Lee a hug.

“I bought him enough colouring books to keep him distracted.” Lee laughed as Richard gave him a playful shove.

“And you behave!” Susan jokingly wagged a finger at Richard as she grasped a shoulder firmly, her other hand going to hold his neck. “If we can be of any help at all, now or in the future, just let us know.”

“Promise.” Richard said as he was pulled into a hug.

“Come visit us soon, we miss you!”

It was only when they had waved the car out of sight that Richard realised Lee was standing at a strange angle to him, his slightly bigger frame blocking Richard off from the doors. “What is it?”

“Nothing.”

“Lee…”

“Someone saw you hugging Sus’ and went for their phone…Richard…!” Lee grabbed his elbow as Richard made to get around him, unsure of what he was going to do but knowing he had a sudden urge to hide. “I don’t even know if it was to take a picture it may have been nothing, I was just making sure.”

“I hate this. I hate this so much. I was enjoying myself and now I want this film to be over. I need to get out of here I’m becoming a nervous wreck.” Richard hissed, knowing they were on the brink of making a scene standing in the hotel driveway.

“Five day’s and we’ll be gone. We can survive five days.” Lee murmured gently, slipping an arm slowly across Richard’s shoulders to give him a firm, lingering squeeze that seemed to flush a great deal of the panic away as he was guided back in the hotel. “We’ll go find Leia and Orla to come and have drinks tonight so we can shake off some of this tension. Get ready to let loose with Stravinsky in Milan.”

“Strav… not the Sinfonica!? You haven’t bought tickets! Lee, that’s too much!”

“What’s the point of havin’ money if you don’t spend it. I ain’t no Dragon.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Lee employs unorthodox methods of stress relief.
> 
>  
> 
> (tw: drug use, anxiety, and one sided sexy times)

   The gas lanterns on the balcony had made Lee wrinkle his nose when he first saw them, daylight made them out to be an unconvincing tackiness in an otherwise elegant hotel. Not that he had become too used to the better things life, it just seemed that the hotel could have done better. Dusk to the thick blackness that night always brought to the countryside was when they came to life; the gentle flickering of the soft light gave enough brightness to see while not attracting every bug in a forty mile radius. With the thick curls of climbing flowers that covered most of the rails and ran up one wall it gave the balcony a cosy, almost private feel, the noises from other rooms dulled by the thick foliage.

   It was Richard’s favourite place to collapse at the end of the day. He would often disappear with a glass of wine and when Lee had finished answering emails and chatting to his mom he would come out to find him sunk down deep into one of the plush loungers like he had been there for hours, unfocused eyes staring out into space. In return for pressing a kiss to his hair Lee would get a sleepy smile and eyes blinking him back to this reality. Sometimes Richard would shuffle over so Lee could curl up next to him, sometimes Lee would tilt Richard's head back enough to drop a kiss to his mouth before forcing himself back to his work, and sometimes, depending on his schedule, Richard would shuffle off to face-plant into bed.

   Tonight he was met with the rigid line of Richard’s broad shoulders as he stood stiffly in the middle of the balcony, facing away from the warm light coming through the glass door and out towards the night. Lee tiptoed to peer out over a shoulder in the vain hope that Richard's attention had been caught by something in the pine tree's their room looked over, but it was just the same dark view as ever. Moving a step closer Lee hesitated before retreating back into the suite with the idea of letting Richard sort through his thoughts a little while longer, everyone needed time alone with their thoughts and Richard was rarely alone in his own head while working.

  He must have zoned out as the next thing Lee knew he was stood staring at his Mac Book, fingers hovering at the lid as four new emails flashed up, even though it was late enough in France office hours were only just swinging into action in the States which was where he was supposed to be. Lee glanced back out at the balcony chewing his lip before flicking the lid closed and striding through to the bedroom. He went through the safe set in the back of the wardrobe that was full of passports and keys and an un-assuming oblong metal box hid at the very back that he grabbed, swung the door closed, and headed back out to the balcony.

  It took the clang of the box hitting the thick glass table top to drag Richard’s attention back from wherever it had been, turning around at the noise and his eyes skittering away from Lee’s to a spot near his elbow. “Sorry, I was thinking.”

“I could tell.” Lee opened the box and began getting the contents out, “You’ll give yourself an ulcer. This character bleed is making you way more neurotic about this than you should be.”

“I know.”

Lee kept his eyes on his task, waiting for the silence to draw Richard in, smiling to himself when a pair of legs moved into his peripheral vision. There was a few more beats of silence as Lee placed the lid on the edge of the Rizla to stop it blowing away and picked up the grinder.

“What are you doing?”

“I know you don’t mean that literally, you’re not as innocent as those big ‘ol blue eyes make you look.”

Richard sighed, “Metaphorically then?”

“I’m making you relax before you snap.” He glanced up at Richard, taking in how tightly he had his arms wrapped around himself, “Unless you have any objections?”

  Richard was watching his fingers go through the familiar motions and gave a small shake of his head that was so vulnerable, so childlike, Lee felt it in his gut and had to force his attention back to the task at hand or he thought his heart might break.

  “I…” Richard started, and then sat down heavily in the chair next to Lee.

“It’s mild as hell, don’t worry. I learnt my lesson about smoking the stronger shit.”

  Weed had been rife at his High School and Lee, while on the swimming programme, had kept away unless it came up in a drugs test to ruin his career before it had even started. Even when his inner-ear problem got unbearable and he had moved to Drama the disapproval of his parents put him off trying it. Then he had moved to New York and had been surrounded by other actors-in-waiting. Many a warm Manhattan evening (and quite a few cold ones) Lee had spend passing around a spliff on the rooftop of his building with his friends, flat mates, neighbours, boyfriends.

 Now he only smoked when nerves threatened to get the better of him. He had been quite proud of his self control, not risking becoming dependant on it to function in public, until the incident with the Potato Chips. Richard had laughed himself to tears when Lee had told him the story - he supposed he did deserve that.

 After that Lee limited himself to a few social occasions and when going out on stage or infront of journalists made all his blood go cold and his heart race like he was about to die. Richard knew from the very beginning about the weed and that Lee would stop forever at a word from him and had assured, as long as Lee moderated himself, it would never come to that because he knew what it was like to be so terrified of a room full of people.

Whenever offered Richard would always politely refuse, but there was a promise in place that if Lee believed he was getting too far into a character or looked unable to pull himself out of his own anxieties then he would _try_   Lee's way of letting go.

“I haven’t made it very strong, and we’ll share it ‘cause you’ll only need a little to chill out. You okay with this?” He got a nod in reply this time, Richard eyeing the joint with a faint frown on his face. Lee reached out to slip his fingers around the back of his neck to make him meet his eyes. “Is that a yes?”

“Yes.”

Lee thought about daring forward and kissing him, but instead went about lighting up. “I got’cha babe. Don’t worry.”

Richard scrunched up his nose at being called babe, his arms loosening their grip on his torso but the line of his shoulders seemed to have got more hunched.  Lee took the first hit, holding the smoke in his lungs and felt the familiar warmth spread through him, breathing a smoke ring out into the night as he watched Richard press his palms onto the table top, face going through emotions so quickly Lee could not hope to keep up.

“Can I kiss you?”

Richard rolled his eyes, “Like you ever need to ask.”

A stupid smile tugged at Lee's lips, he could feel how happy those few words had made every muscle in his face. He took another drag, replacing his hand on the back of Richard’s neck ready to pull him into a kiss once Lee had a mouthful of the heady smoke, passing it into Richard’s mouth alongside his tongue that moved lazily over the roof of a familiar mouth and against another familiar tongue.

  Lee pulled away when he felt Richard move to exhale, the smile still on Lee's face as he watched something that was nearly calm settle over him, the light catching in dark messy hair and in the chiselled, delicate shapes of bone moulding muscle and skin to their shape.

Another mouthful of fragrant smoke was taken and passed between mouths in the same way, Lee’ sure he would never want to do this any other way that did not involved Richard.

“Dam.”

Large eyes, black ringed with pale blue ringed with dark blue set into clear white, blinked at him slowly, “What? What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’, jus…I’m an idiot for not putting these two together sooner.”

“What?”

“Getting high and you.”

“Oh…”

Lee laughed, the noise shockingly loud, grabbing Richard by the wrist and making him follow the path Lee's feet took them over to the the lounger that he collapsed into and pulled Richard down next to him, prodding and moving long limbs until Richard’s head was tucked against his shoulder, legs flung carelessly over Lee’s.

“Maravilloso!” Lee announced, taking a couple of hits to catch up with Richard who Lee thought was sinking into him, sure he could feel every muscle fibre relaxing under his fingertips, sure they could mould themselves  to fit anywhere now, no matter their size.

 “Do you think languages make you happy or sad? Like, if you have a really cheerful, sing-song language you’ll be cheerful and if it’s all serious and blunt you’ll be serious and blunt?”

“I think you have something there.” Lee smiled, feeling his laughter in his fingertips, loving how little it had taken to set Richard’s tongue to rambling. Speaking of tongues, Lee took another mouthful as he ran his fingers through soft hair, grabbing just tight enough to tip Richard’s head back to kiss him, feeling his moan echo through his own ribcage like a concert hall, acoustics perfect for whatever words or actions Richard decided to put there.

“No more.” Richard gasped out, voice hoarse, when Lee finally pulled away, moving his gaze to stare with no small degree of puzzlement at the hand clutching onto the front of Lee’s shirt. “You can keep kissing me, but my mouth is dry so I don’t know…”

Lee dropped what was left of the joint on the floor and stubbed it out. When weighed against each other weed, no matter the cost, was not worth more to Lee than kisses from Richard who was wonderfully pliant against him, smile the silliest it had been in days, free from the anxiety other people’s attention brought on. “Maravilloso.” Lee repeated, bending down to press small kisses along Richard’s bottom lip, scraping it with his teeth before licking into his mouth, groaning at the sudden bright sensation of fingers wrapping tightly into his hair.

  Lee pulled away when he became aware of movement in his pants, not unpleasant but unwelcome because as unwound as Richard was right now it was no state to give consent for anything involving Lee’s appreciation for his warm sweet mouth and strong, supple body curled against him.

Richard’s head dropped back against Lee’s shoulder and he shifted so his legs were not so flung over Lee’s, making it more comfortable for him to look out at the sky. “I can’t seem to let go of your shirt. Sorry about that.” He mumbled, Lee dragging his eyes away from lips made dark by kisses and the night to where a hand was indeed still clinging to his shirt front.

“S’fine. Do what you need to do.”

Eyes rolled over to look at him, “What about you doing what you need to do?” The pleasant haze cleared and Lee suddenly felt a lot more sober than he wanted to be. “I always know when you’re horny but hiding it. You think I don’t but I do. Like now. Now I know you probably want me to get in your lap so you can fuck me like this.” Lee had been avoiding thinking about that but now he found it quite hard not too. “You done it before, you want but you never ask. You ask me and I’d say yes, I’ll think about it, or not now but next time. But you don’t, ‘cause _you_ worry too much about scaring me. I’ve _seen_ things! I lived with trapeze artists and Elephants, I went to _flute exams_ , I am a tough cookie!” He poked Lee gently on the cheek. “Just ‘cause I don’t wanna do it doesn’t mean you have to be a monk. I don’t want that.”

 He went back to looking at the sky but Lee gazed at him, half embarrassed that he had been read so easily and half marvelling at the things pouring out of Richard that would not come so easily when sober. “How did I get so lucky as to have you loving me back?”

“Oaklahoma must have lucky stars even though they’re the same stars as everywhere.” Richard sighed deeply and Lee wondered for a moment if he was trying to expel all the air in his lungs. “I hope no-one gets any ideas about journalists. I like not having panic attacks. And I do love you. I love you I love you I love you I love you.”

 Lee grabbed his face and kissed him hard, uncoordinated and sloppy but he put every bit of love and passion into it, scratching the nails of one hand down Richard’s neck on the way to palm himself through his pants (Lee gave no thought to what complications scratches might bring to filming tomorrow and if he had Lee would have told them to go to hell ). He broke the kiss with a groan, moving to bury his face in the smooth, warm, slightly dewy dip between strong shoulder and long neck. “You’ll get all sticky if you come in your pants.” Richard purred out against the shell of Lee’s ear, lips curving into a lazy smile against sensitive flash as Lee moaned.

  “Don’t care.” Lee hissed as he guided Richard around so Lee could half lay on top of him, worrying the skin on a curving collarbone with his teeth as light fingers ran over his back through the suddenly too thick material of his shirt, grinding his hips down against his own hand and a long expanse of strong thigh.

“You do what you need to do, ‘cause you let me do what I need to do without questioning. And I love you.”

“Love you…ah…you’re amazing. Should have got you high earlier…ah.”

He felt Richard’s slow laugh tingle against his lips. “Not in a state to stop you trading autographs for Doritos.”

Lee paused the movement of his hips and hand to laugh along with Richard, the first time they had done so without a care in the world for days. He would almost, almost, not wish for that photographer to be somewhere else that day because the relief was singing in his blood, making his oncoming orgasm feel like it was slowly melting his bones and making every smudge of light behind his eyelids twice the brighter. He would not mind messy boxers and sticky skin cooling in the heady night air as he lay curled up with Richard on a piece of furniture that had always made a valiant effort to hold them both, too sated and happy to bear to move for the eternity this night seemed to be filling.

“All better now.” Hot, dry breath sighed against Lee’s temple, fingers pushing his hair back with aching gentleness. Lee shifted so less bony bits were digging into soft bits, holding the hand that was still clutching onto his shirt. The hand left his hair and shot up into the negative space around them, three fingers held up in the flickering light, “Three days, then Milan! Do you like Stravinsky?”

Lee thought about it for a moment or for an eternity, he was unsure, “Of all what I gave a listen to I liked him the best I think.” He smiled as the hand dropped to hang carelessly over his thigh, pale wrist leaning lightly on his hip. They lay there for a scatter of heartbeats before Lee felt tiny vibrations coming from where he had his cheek pressed to Richard’s sternum and his smile grew so wide he knew his cheeks would start hurting because Richard was quietly humming a beautiful peace of classical music to him and Lee had never been more in love.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the shoot ends and the boys are allowed an interlude to their drama

  Lee did his best to do research for his next project in the last few days they had in France, he had always been dutiful in his background work for his characters but being with Richard made him feel a little bit inadequate about _how_ much work he did.

  While in an apartment on a cold New York day or sat out on the roof in the sun research was easy, but pools were so distracting! And when he had done a few laps to blow off steam Lee would find himself going to the surrounding picturesque French villages and Lavender farms to explore. When he did finally come back to do some work he would be (yet again) distracted for most of the evening by giving Richard a dramatic retelling of his day to distract Richard from his character, from what was going on, and from himself.

  At least Richard himself had been less of a distraction than he usually would be to a sweaty Lee just back from one of his adventures. All lithe, pale, and dark eyed like someone just dumped a bucket of Lord Byron on him and then threw him in a pile of Victorian Gothic romance, propped up on his side in bed reading or lounging on the couch, every limb resting with a languid ease as if every hair had been placed there ready to be debauched. It was not as hard as Lee thought it would be to not reach out and debauch, part of the character bleed was a tilt of the head and a positioning of hands that made Richard seem distant, to touch would shatter them both. That was not to say Lee had not still been distracted, only realising he was staring when Richard would glance up and point imperiously to the untouched pile of Lee’s notes with a bashful smile.

 “Urgh, get your tan away from me.” Richard muttered as they jostled for space in front of the bathroom mirror.

 “My tan? Get your vanilla-self away from me in case I catch your pale.”

“Just you wait.”

“For what, you gonna bleach me?”

“Maybe.” 

Lee looked over at Richard, not trying to hide the smile on his face as he watched Richard try and get his hair into some semblance of order. “I’m gonna kiss you.”

Richard’s face contorted into mock horror, “Please! Anything but that!” he laughed as Lee grabbed his face and pressed a firm, sloppy kiss to his cheek, “Mercy! Mercy!” Lee swallowed down with a chaste kiss to his lips.

 “Never!”

“Oh what cruelty this beauty does to me!”  

Lee ducked his head as he felt his cheeks tinge pink. “You say that to all the boys?”

"You've caught me, oh no!” Richard muttered as he pressed another kiss to Lee’s lips before sighing at his hair in the mirror and making to leave the bathroom. “I left some stuff you might want to look at on the table.”

 “Urgh, I’m on holiday _mom_ stop making me do homework!”

Richard spun on one foot to look straight into Lee’s eyes, “Don’t forget the wrap party tonight.” He said in all seriousness as he shimmied back out of the room to Lee’s startled laughter.

 It was always a pleasure to see the sudden burst of silliness that came when Richard was casting off a character, everything that had consumed him for weeks being discarded as if they had never meant anything with hardly a trace left on him. It was like being newly in love all over again, well their newly in love had involved quite a lot of Thorin’s dourness so had not been quite as playful as these moments but Lee could not care less .

 The stuff Richard had found was very useful for Lee’s next job and he took a moment to be incredulous about the fact Richard had somehow found time to dig all this up before he devoured it, half a baguette, and a hell of a lot of strong French coffee.

  The wrap party was in the hotel function room that had a panoramic view of the countryside bathed in the glorious golden light of the sun set. Lee was late but had still arrived before most of the actors so he nursed a glass of champagne that tasted like honey as he took in the view, feeling somewhere between a King overlooking his kingdom and a Bond villain.

  When the actors arrived there was a sudden swell of noise and people. Lee watched from the back of the room as the director gave a speech, Leia was given an award for ‘Most Terrifying Glare’, a gold painted kids beach bucket was given to Orla to commemorate that time she cried so hard in a scene she was nearly sick, and finally Richard was dragged on stage to give the Thank You’s which Lee completely missed because Richard looked like he had just fallen out of a GQ shoot with all the confidence and grace that entailed.

 It was nearly two hours before Richard managed to extricate himself from producers and executives and cast to make his way over to Lee, yawning into the hand that held his nearly untouched wine glass. “Exciting conversations?” Lee asked, smiling when Richard rolled his eyes.

“Nearly as fun as standing in a corner by yourself.”

“I had the waiters for company, and then Orla came to show me her bucket.”

Richard snorted and set his wine down. “I think I want to go.”

“You can’t leave your own wrap party early!”

Richard shrugged one perfectly tailored shoulder, “Rather just hang out with you.”

Lee beamed, unrepentant still after all this time, and put his own glass down to adjust Richard’s perfectly straight tie. “Another hour and you can cite tiredness and go.”

Richard groaned, eyes taking in the view before scanning the edges of the panoramic window. “We can go out onto that verandah thing. It’s empty at the moment. Take the party outside.”

“Never thought I’d see the day when you took a party anywhere.” Lee laughed as he followed Richard outside.

“Really early in the morning, when you’re fast asleep, I’m going to elbow you in the face.” Richard threatened softly, shoving his hands in his pockets and going to lean on the railing.

“You say such sweet things to me.”

“Oh, I’m a romantic at heart.”

Lee came to lean next to Richard, hip pressing into the sun warmed metal so he could look at both Richard and the lights of the village down in the inky black valley, the sky on the distant horizon lit up by Lyon.

 Lights from the party behind them cut through the night, throwing them into sharp shadows and flashes of muted colours where the light hit them. Even in lighting that would make the most dramatic of cinematographer proud he could see Richard’s shoulders slowly dropping as he put aside the version of himself used for parties, breathing deep of the surprisingly warm night air.

Lee understood, he got like that at parties sometimes, not as often as Richard but he knew the feeling. Shyness was a serious problem sometimes and an inconvenience most times.

“Orla’s threatened to come Milan with us.”

“It’ll be nice if she does. She’s a laugh.”

Richard hummed in agreement. “She’s lovely. Glad you two get on so well.” Lee could not see his eyes, but noted the slight movement of his head that meant he was now looking at him. “How lovely you both are after four unrestrained days dicking about remains to be seen.”

Lee gave his shoulder a gentle shove, tilting himself so he was stood closer to Richard. “Cheeky bastard. You’ll pretend to be bothered then cause the most mischief.”

“I’m sorry, you must be thinking of the wrong person.”

Lee slung his arm over Richard and bumped their hips together trying not to give him the satisfaction of laughing. Richard’s humour was something that had to be waited for, he was always ready to laugh but his wit came with time spent together and his dry humour could sneak in at the most unexpected moments and leave chaotic laugher in it’s wake. Lee adored him for it.  

“So, are you gonna dance with me or not?”

Richard turned fully to look at him. “Umm…or not?”

“Asshole.” Lee sniggered affectionately, butting his head gently against Richard’s.

 There was a noise behind them and they both half turned to see an apologetic looking crew member half out of the sliding door holding up a troop of people trying to come out on to the verandah behind him. “I didn’t mean to interrupt anything…”

“It’s okay, just trying to keep the leading man awake.” Lee smiled, letting his arm drop from Richard’s shoulders to grip the rail casually as the small crowd joined them outside

“Tell me about it! So many night shoots! It can’t be the most tiring shoot for you guys.” The guy was aiming for nonchalance but the suddenly interested faces of those who had followed shot that down quickly.

“Yeah, but eighteen months of anything will be tiring…” Richard threw them a bone and they leapt on it, all eager to hear stories and ask questions about working on a **_Tolkien_** _film_ with Sir’s _Peter and **Ian** _ and so many industry greats.

Richard was always so generous with himself for the Tolkien fans, not that Lee was not also eager to talk about the most wonderful few months in the history of the Pace family, but there was an understanding Richard shared with them, a shared passion that ran deeper than it ever would for Lee.     

  Even if his professional ego drooped a little, how could Lee mind when the eyes that widened when they looked up at Thranduil King bug to comic proportions and filled with a torrent of emotions when they beheld The King under the Mountain.

So Lee leant back, allowed drinks to be pressed into their hands, answered any questions thrown at him or joined in with anecdotes with a hand pressed gently into the middle of Richard's broad back to give him support, however little it was needed, as the crowd grew and pressed in closer around them. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the peace is shattered and Richard realises that it does not matter.
> 
>  
> 
> (tw: panic attacks, anxiety, and character's personal non toxic religious views)

   Parties were only sometimes a Richard thing. With his career choice he was obliged to become accustomed to them for the sake of studios, of projects, of his future employment, but that did not mean he had to like it.

   He decided, when blinking into the world of the living without the help of a screaming alarm clock, that last night had been a good party. Got the smiling and chatting to the bigwigs out of the way quickly, had a dance with Orla and then spent the rest of it outside with Lee, with the endless starry sky, and talking about Hobbit to a crew that he knew had been itching to ask for weeks.

  Lee was jolly; such a common occurrence now they were putting their various and varying troubles behind them it was almost easier to say when he was _not_. Richard had watched quietly as the shadowed shape of Lee tiptoed around the room smelling faintly of the chlorine from the pool and had burst out into sleepy laughter at the look of intense concentration on his face. He must have fallen asleep again as suddenly Lee was showered and dry and had his face pressed into Richard’s shoulder discussing with himself whether they should go exploring or spend the day in bed.

  Richard thought he would love to stay nestled under blankets light enough to not be stifling but heavy enough to feel cocooned, head pressed into a pillow and unmoving for the day, but then realised that meant a couple of hours undisturbed hibernation with Lee wrapped around him and the rest of the day listening to Lee playing Halo while shouting down the headset at Matt or Aidan and Dean, or, God forbid, all of them.

  They were getting ready to go wander through some Lavender fields and be hopelessly bohemian (well Lee would, Richard would get sunburnt and try not to pick someone's crop of flowers) when there was a heavy knock on the door and he knew in his gut, despite sternly telling himself it was just in his head and that no one can tell from a knock what's going to be on the other side of the door, that it brought bad news.

 This time, alas, his fears were not his nerves; one of the crew had been caught mid-way through a call to a magazine, someone he had seen nearly every day for the past month had been prepared to lie to the press about him and Lee, about them. Be it for money or mischief the sickening feeling of betrayal caught him so suddenly it felt like it had knocked the air out of him.

“…the DP is having a word with the crew about appropriate behaviour and reminding them that people from a leaky set will be less likely to get employed by the big- budget films. It’s a little late, but we are working on pulling …”

  They carried on discussing the situation in quiet, clipped voices but to Richard it was all just a faint, far away noise. Too busy concentrating on the cold feeling in his stomach, trying to work out if he was about to have a panic attack or not. _Oh God no not now don’t add to this with a panic attack for fuck sake Richard you're over reacting calm down, Lee will be fine, you will be fine and you can breathe, you can breathe..._

 “Richard?”

He had not noticed Orla gently holding his hand or Lee’s arm a secure presence across his shoulders and bowed his head lower, not brave enough to look at the concern on the director's face. "I just…” Richard gasped in a breath as the tight feeling in his chest became worse, “If everyone knows, it's doesn't matter... It would have been nice to be known for Thorin for a little longer I tried so...why am I being informed on like I'm doing something shameful. Why are we being treated like this is...this is..." He pressed the palm of his hand to his mouth, unable to get out any of the thousands of words flying around his head trying to put a name to the outrage he felt, Lee wrapping his other arm around him and squeezing.

 “No-one that matters will care. This is going to be handled calmly and discreetly, it will go away before you know.” Orla declared in her ever sure tone 

He let out a little noise; too busy trying not to burst into tears to really take in anything that was said to him.  It was over-reacting. He was still far too boring for the tabloids, but what if Lee was not?

The director left not long after that and Richard flopped down on the sofa, allowing himself be pulled into gentle conversation with Orla who was being an absolute darling while he was being a grumpy fucker. She left nearly an hour later stating she had to call her husband, shooting a look over at Lee who had been sat at the office alcove of the suite typing away like a fiend, occasionally joining in the conversation on the other side of the room but mostly staying silent. He was more than likely writing an explanation to his family and emailing his publicist, like Richard should be doing right now instead of having a fit of histrionics.

Richard tired so, so very hard not to get wound so tight he could snap at any moment. Had been trying most of his life, tried harder for Annie, tried even _harder_ for Lee, but sometimes all the goodwill and weed in the world could not bring back his Zen.

 It did not help that Lee could still remain remarkably relaxed even when the walls were closing in around him. _‘Thinking about all the publicity it will get him’,_ Richard thought bitterly before telling himself off – it was not Lee’s doing and no good would be done by getting angry with him! It was no-one’s fault because, apart from being informed on like this was the Cold War and disregard for privacy, there was no problem.  As Lee was now saying, Emma Stone going to the shops with no make up sold more magazines then they ever would, “Unless, ya’ know, they got photo’s of us fucking. Images of my pasty ass jiggling around would sell into the millions!”

Their eyes met across the room and Richard, despite himself and the full on wallowing he was about to embark on, dissolved into silent giggles. His whole body shook as he covered his face with his hands, peering through his fingers at Lee who had turned to face him, looking adorably proud of himself.

Richard sunk down into the sofa cushions as Lee dragged himself over on the office chair, wheels making a scraping sound on the tiled floor, to lay his large hands on Richard’s leg. “You laughin’ at my butt?”

“No. It’s a butt that demands respect.” Richard managed to choke out through a fresh stream of laughter that dropped into self conscious giggles as Lee looked at him intently, lovely smile on his lovely face. “What?”

“Nothing.” Lee said softly, relief smoothing the worry lines that had come uninvited to his face, his eyebrows still visibly pinched with tension. Richard sucked in a breath and held his arms open, tilting his chin slightly to tell Lee to come to him which he did with a sigh, crawling out of the office chair to lay mostly on Richard. Their knee’s knocked and there was an elbow in Richard’s ribs for longer than he liked but soon Lee’s longer body was moulded against his, cheek pressed into Richard’s chest.

“How are you holding up?”

“Mmmm, better now you’ve cheered up.”

“...I’m sorry for being so busy undoing all your hard work to make me feel better…being selfish and… I missed how this upsets you too, of course it does. I’m sorry.”

“That’s oookayy, you are a million times forgiven.” Lee sighed, a note of undeclared protest in his voice, shifting further into Richard’s arms. “This is nice. Second time in as many day’s I’ve been on the end of cuddles. You should be sorry more often. _Hey!_  Don’t tut me.”

“Tut you all I like.” Richard smiled, pressing a kiss to Lee’s hair. “Urgh, you didn’t wash properly when you got out of the pool did you? You taste like chlorine.”

“I washed what was important, okay!”

“Did you now...”

There was a beat of silence before Lee swore into Richard's shoulder, “For once I did not mean it like that.”

They lay like that for a while, Lee burrowing his hands between Richard’s back and the sofa as he ran his fingertips through Lee’s wild hair, smiling as Lee let out a damp, content sigh against his neck.

“As we’re not getting a million calls I think…” Lee turned his head so he was addressing the sofa back, “…I don’t wanna jinx it…”

“I know what you mean. Me too.” Richard reached out to tap his foot against the wooden table at the end of the couch, being careful not to upset the lamp set on it. He was not overly superstitious, not more than most, but knocking on wood could not do any harm. No calls meant no-one cared or no-one knew, meant whoever had blabbed had been sensible enough not to give their names or they were lucky enough that they were stopped before they could.

 It did not matter either way. He got too wound up about things like this, had always reacted too emotionally to shocks. He sighed at himself as he remembered being sat in a pile of cardboard packing cases crying his eyes out when he got the news the RSC wanted _him_. Richard had no idea where this vein of stoicism came from that everyone he worked with waxed lyrical about, he would quite like to meet it in his non-working life thanks very much. No idea where all that inbuilt strength fled to when it came to things he was proud of, when it came to Lee.

 He would much rather nearly crumble a hundred times with Lee, rather pull himself back together into a version of him slightly changed, than to stand firm and unchanging his whole life without him. A life lesson half learnt from Thorin, half taught by his heart.

 Richard gave the body laying against him a squeeze and Lee let out a pleased noise. “What I said earlier, I don’t, ummm…I don’t think Hobbit is more important than you. It sounded like that … I’m not, not really. It would bother the shit out of me, but us being allowed to get on with out lives. That’s more important.”

“I know, I know. Putting that much effort into anything… I get it. Thorin is your baby- well, as much as an angry, hairy, five foot tall dude with a sword can be a baby…”

“Five-two! He’s five-two thank you very much. I’m overly tall even as a Dwarf.”

“You’re un-fairly handsome as a Dwarf too, strangely pretty as well. I want to lay that at Tami’s door but she had the prosthetics changed to look more like _you_ …”

Richard felt himself blushing, “Was that your attempt at being smooth?”

“It’s made you blush,” Lee declared without even looking up, so the blushing got worse, “I’ll take it as a success in being smooth.”

 

  They still went to the Lavender fields. Having got control of himself Richard had insisted they went out- he was not going to hide away from ' What If’s' and 'Maybe's', he was not even going to hide away from widely available facts.

Wide open spaces would do him good; the faint murmur of the hotel replaced with the buzzing of serene bees and the ever present background music of the cicadas, comfortable cool of air conditioning replaced with the blanket of heat that brought unexpected prickles of goosebumps to his arms and shoulders that disappeared as soon as they came. 

 Despite telling himself he would not pick any of the delicate stems he found he had done so, twirling a few of the heavily scented sprigs between his fingers as Lee went to investigate the chapel that sat at the side of the field. Richard looked over it’s uncomplicated sun bleached stone work, the elegance it carried even though it had been built to withstand storms and heat waves; he felt a pull to go and peer inside as well as a knot of dread that always came with abandoned buildings.  He turned away to return to wandering between the rows of Lavender, if Lee got himself stabbed then…oh shit what if Lee got stabbed?

  At that moment a yell broke the peace, startling the world into silence for a moment as Richard jumped out of his skin. He whipped around to see Lee waving at him from the bell tower. “Fucking hell Lee!” Richard yelled, grabbing at his heart through his t-shirt and regretting spitting out a curse into nature’s harmony.

“Scared ya’ did I?” Lee called, leaning his arms on the stone work.

The sun was practically shining into his eyes so Richard brought a hand up to cover them, too lazy to pluck his sunglasses from the front of this shirt. “Be careful it doesn’t crumble and you fall out!”

“Nah, it’s fine. The view’s lovely from here, come up.” 

He took a look down the row’s of flowers before making his way over. The inside of the chapel was clean and well cared for, some curling flowers by the door showed someone had tidied it in the past week, pew’s made of solid wood that would not rot anytime soon, windows small and high to limit damage and the hot afternoon sun, altar a stone table with a stone crucifix behind it. The first time he ventured into a Catholic church (ten with his brother in Spain) he had been struck with how different it was from the plain peaceful churches of England, all those highly realistic images with strangely seeing eyes had unsettled him. Now a statue of Mary in an alcove freaked him out enough to hurry past it through the open door and up the steps he hoped would lead to the bell tower.

   “We should only movies in France from now on.” Lee greeted, ignoring how Richard nearly fell up the step when he emerged from the staircase.

  “Can you speak French?” Richard panted, ducking around the bell to look out at the view.

Lee turned to him, eyebrow raised, “You okay? You’re breathing heavy.”

“Virgin Mary scared me.” He explained. Lee’s other eyebrow travelled up his forehead, looking over Richard before grabbing his hand to pull him next to him.

 “I got Arabic down as a kid, and we did Spanish at school in Texas. So the ground work for learning other languages is laid, Spanish is Latin based anyways.”Richard hummed in doubt, “Hey, not like you can speak French like a pro.”

“Never said I could.” Lee narrowed his eyes at him a moment then turned back to the still Cypress trees and wide open sky with only a wisp of cloud in sight.

Richard leant his elbow on the warm stone, realising he was still holding the lavender when he went to rest his chin on his hand. He looked down at the three stems, deceptively heavy in his palm and sturdier than they first appeared and still lovely despite the early death he had sentenced them to by picking them. Nature would carry on regardless of the loss of some flowers, the bees would keep buzzing and the trees would keep growing long after Richard was dead and someone else was picking the flowers. The universe would keep going no matter what anyone on this little planet did, no matter who knew this or that, or who said this, or who thought that.

_'Worse things happen at sea'_ _,_ Richard thought to himself as he tucked one sprig of Lavender behind his ear, taking up the longer stem to smell the flower, scent made heady by the sun, before reaching out and gently brushing along the freckles across Lee’s shoulder. He had pulled his top off as soon as they left the road, tucking it into the back of his shorts, and the sun had darkened his freckles so they jumped out against his golden skin.

Lee glanced at him and Richard took the opportunity to tap him on the nose, grinning when Lee scrunched up his face in surprise, feeling it smooth into a gentle smile when Lee presented his nose so Richard could let him smell it.

“Oh wow, that’s like concentrated sun shine.” Lee murmured, reaching out to pluck the last one from Richard’s hand, rubbing it gently between his palms then taking a sniff. “Holy…smell this.”  Richard accepted the fact he was probably going to get Lavender rubbed all over his face as he bent to smell, recoiling with a twitching nose from the potency of the oils now on Lee’s hands.

“Good isn’t it? Not the best thing I’ve ever smelt, that would have…”

“Wait, let me guess…is it me?”

Lee beamed, “See, it’s a widely known fact.”

Richard squirmed away, yelping as Lee pressed his face into the gap between his t-shirt and neck as hands were simultaneously shoved up his shirt to rub Lavender over his back. “Ge’off!”

“What? It’s so I can bury my face in it tonight…”

“We’re in a church!”

Lee stepped back looking unrepentant, “Scared Mary will get’cha?”

“Don’t joke, painted statues are creepy.” He muttered as Lee tilted his head to kiss him gently, not pulling away when a hand threaded through his hair and six-foot-four of Texan was crowding against him, nipping at his bottom lip. “Need I remind you where we are before you become wholly inappropriate?” Richard gasped when Lee pulled away, still close enough to feel warm breath on his already warm face.

“As long as we act with our heart open to Him and with love, God won’t mind. So I love you with an open, honest heart and am not ashamed, no matter where I am or what people think.”

Richard looked over Lee’s face, feeling something swell in his heart that might have been him falling a bit more in love. “Lee…” He sighed, reaching up to hold Lee’s face in his hands, brushing his thumbs over the apple of pink cheeks “…sometimes you say the most beautiful things. Sometimes I'm not sure I deserve them.”

Lee flushed red, opening his mouth a few times then ducking his head to kiss Richard again. “Love you.”

“Love you too."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: The above views I have written for 'Richard' in regards to his own anxiety and near panic attack are in no way my views on people who suffer from these things. It is my own experience and observation that embarrassment and frustration can cause these reactions in ~some~ people.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which it all comes to nothing, Tami is the disembodied voice of 'reason', and there is prelude to sexy times.

“I’ll have to beat up every grip I work with from now on.” Tami said as soon as Richard picked up the phone.

“Good morning to you too Tam’…”

“It’s a matter of pride, Dickie. I don’t want to wage a one woman war against fucking lighting riggers but it has to be done!”

“It doesn’t give me comfort that you’ve heard about this.”

 “Doesn’t take a fucking genius to put ‘very private actors from a big budget franchise’ and ‘southern Europe’ together and get you fuckers. Some people are saying its some guys from Marvel but whatever, can’t all be geniuses…genii, genius? What is it?”

“Latest reckoning is ‘geniuses’.”

“Yeah that. And there are whispers through the crew grape vine about it. A very nice Canadian grip who I have been ‘talking’ to…”

“You never told me!”

“I have to keep up my aura of mystery…I’ll ignore that snort of derision Richard, it was un-fucking-gentlemanly! Anyway, they’ve all been talking about this guy Warner B’s have be taking off some fucking _big_ films scheduled…”

“If you know who it is then why will you beat up all of the grips?”

“I don’t know _who_ the bastard is, no-one know’s him up here. Do _you_ know who it was?”

“No, I didn’t want to know.”

“Does Lee know?”

 Richard glanced across the square to the familiar tall form peering through some postcards outside a tourist shop, unruly brown hair messed up further by sunglasses pushed up onto his head.

 Lee had been hard to read at times over the past few days, especially after checking his emails or taking a call just out of ear shot. There was no impregnable shutter slammed down on the world, just moments where it would take more than a glance from Richard to see what was going on in that ever moving mind. He knew Lee would bare all to him if he asked and sometimes that was the most important thing, knowing that secrets would be shared rather than knowing the secret itself

  Two days ago they had been hogging the air conditioning vents at Lyon airport, Lee flicking through one of the magazines Orla had shoved at Richard, (‘Oh my good grief! Richard you cannot read heavy Russian novels right after a job! Take the magazine before you make us all ashamed, you crazy man… _’)_ while everyone else chatted away over airport coffee waiting for their gates to open. He was surprised he noticed when Lee stiffened next to him the movement was so controlled. Peering down at the open pages across Lee’s knee’s he had seen nothing untoward until he spotted a small box that was filled with half informed gossip and, even though Richard (and now it seemed Tami) had seen it was clearly about them, it was nothing like what he had been twisting himself in knots about. It had been oddly freeing to see all his anxiety banished to a corner of the gossip pages – there was a moment when he thought he should have felt angry at himself now all that worry had been for nothing but quickly put it aside; glad to have his privacy and not about to look this gift horse in the mouth.

  He had glanced up at Lee who had that look on his face, the oddly closed off one that meant he was not a hundred percent willing to share what was in his head. Richard had bumped their shoulders together, waited for Lee’s expression to soften, for the crease between his eyebrows to smooth away, for Lee to smile, before he had slipped his hand into Lee’s and launched back into the conversation going on around them.

  Richard fiddled with the glass in front of him, running his fingertips through the condensation, and shrugged to himself. “I think he does, I don’t know. I was more worried about not over-reacting to be honest.”

“You worry too fucking much, that’s the problem." Tami snapped fondly. "Only you could worry about worrying. Are you worrying now? You are, aren’t you?”

“Only about being subpoenaed as a character witness for when you’re arrested for assault.”

 “How dare you, I would leave no traces of evidence. They would not have a leg to stand on!”

Richard laughed, “I am glad to hear it.”

 “It’s good to hear you laugh and mean it.”

Richard ducked his head, fingers of his free hand now ripping little bits off the napkin his glass was sat on. “I don’t know what to say to that. Thanks? Me too? Only you?”

“Only me of course! You may be getting it on with _Him_ but you love me more, right?”

“Of course.”

“Correct answer.” She let out a dry laugh, “I’m planning a holiday to Bali. I’ll email you the stuff and you can tell me when you’re free so I can work out dates.”

“I’ll talk to Lee…”

“I’m not being mean, but you’re the one I want to come. Out of everyone…”

Lee dropped postcards on the table, shooting a smooth, “ _Si, prego”,_ at the waiter who asked him if he wanted another beer before sitting down heavily, looking over Richard and smiling contentedly. He should be a little too old for butterfly’s in the tummy, but Richard was not about to deny their existence whenever Lee looked at him like that.

“Even the Canadian grip?”

 “Shush you! I was gonna tell you how much I miss you and value your friendship but now you’ll just have to go without.”

“I’ll struggle through.”

They spoke for a little while about stuff and nonsense until Tami mentioned she should have been on set ten minuets ago and Richard made her hang up.

 “All tired out from shopping?”

“So many people! So many _short_ people! I’ve been trying not to fall over any.” Lee huffed, running a hand through his already messy hair and giving a small smile at Richard’s fond laughter.  “Was that our friendly neighbourhood Prosthetic’s Artist?”

“I know you keep denying she gave you a ‘hurt him and I’ll hurt you’ talk, but I’m starting to think she did.”

“It was a ‘hurt him and I’ll castrate you’ talk, which, apparently, was her trying _not_ to scare me off.”

Richard reached across the small table to brush his fingertips over the back of Lee’s hand slowly, noting how he took in a sharp breath through his nose and shifted ever so slightly on his polished wood chair. “I’ll have to thank her, scared you just enough to make you stick around.” Richard said softly, glancing up at Lee from under his eyelashes before sitting back, letting his fingers slip off Lee’s hand to pick up the postcards.

“Think it…” Lee cleared his throat, “…think it was something other than fear that kept me around.”

Richard smiled, flicking through the post cards, and then frowned. “You’re sending a postcard to the dogs, aren’t you?”

“And what’s wrong with that?”

“They can’t read!”

Lee raised an eyebrow as the beer was set down in front of him, “I know actors that can read worse than Carl.”

Richard shot him a look, “Be nice!”

“Tami always swoops in and uses up the limited window you have for bitching.” Lee groused as be picked up his beer, knocking his head back to take a cooling gulp.

“Should be glad she doesn’t get to ‘swoop in’ and take up my other windows, ones I think you prefer.”

Lee paused, looking at Richard over the top of his glass, taking another sip before putting it down heavily on the marble table top. “Yeah?”

Richard shrugged gently, “Yeah.”

There was a moment where they looked at one another, Richard tracking the movement of Lee’s hand as he used the side of it to wipe away any stray foam from his mouth before Lee was yanking his wallet out of his back pocket so hard he rattled the glasses on the table, throwing a few Euro notes onto the table and jumped up.

“You’ve left too much…”

“I’m generous! We can see the rest of the city before the concert tomorrow.” Lee begged, holding his hands out like he wanted to bodily drag him across Milan to their hotel.

Richard carefully picked up the post cards, slinging his jacket over one shoulder as he stood, pushing his sunglasses up his nose. “Try to make it a little less obvious what we’re leaving to do. We _are_ in Milan, let’s at least pretend we’re cool.”

That was met with an inelegant snort from Lee, easily matching his stride as they made their way through the twists and turns of the old city. “This is the country of love and passion and desire,” Lee prattled on, “they won’t mind. They’d cheer us on. Be proud of us impassionate non-Mediterranean’s finally recognising our passionate nature. Amore! Amore! Amor…”

Richard pressed his lips together to try and hide his smile, making a point of looking up at the architecture of the buildings curving over the narrow street as he let his fingers thread through Lee’s, trying not to care who saw.

   “You are a soppy son-ofa-bitch.” Lee was smiling that little half smile of his that made one cheek dimple, his eyes soft and adoring under his ridiculous quirked eyebrows. Richard felt an answering smile try to tug at his mouth but he cleared his throat and looked ahead.

 “Just trying to shut you up.”

“Whatever.” Lee murmured, bumping into Richard’s shoulder. “You love it when I wax lyrical and embarrass you.”

He smiled then as he glanced over at Lee, letting it trip into dirty, “You’re right, I do love your mouth.”

The horrifically sweet look Lee could adopt so easily suddenly gained a familiar heat, smile edging into a leer. “Is that so?” He glanced up as they passed into the icy cool of the air conditioned hotel lobby, “I still think we should double check that statement,  your mind might be playing tricks.”

“I’m not so old my memory’s going.” Richard teased as they waited for the lift, smiling at the face Lee pulled at him.

A couple came to stand behind them to also wait for the lift, noisily trying to placate the fussy child the man had in his arms. They lapsed into silence, watching the numbers count down to zero and the doors slide open noiselessly, letting the family get in before them and smiling sympathetically at the flustered woman.

The only sound in the lift was the child sucking her thumb noisily, twisted around in the man’s arms to stare at Richard in that unsettling intent way small children had. Luckily the family’s floor came before Richard cracked and got out. Lee was laughing to himself as the doors closed, the little girl still looking at Richard over her dad’s shoulder, and did not even try to look innocent when he got shot dark look.

“You may not like possessed kids, but they certainly like you.”

Richard gave an involuntary shiver, “She barely blinked! I think she was doing it on purpose, kids are like that- sense your weaknesses.”

Lee laughed out loud this time and closed the distance between them to grab Richard by the neck, only pausing a moment when his hand got shoved away, forcing him back against the wall to kiss him quick and filthy until the doors opened onto their corridor and they casually went to their room.

  Richard managed to get his shoes, sunglasses and jacket put away, half way through reminding Lee he had the post cards before the body of the man in question was plastered against his back and pressing him into the side of the wardrobe, the neck of his t-shirt pulled aside so sharp teeth could begin nipping at his shoulders.

“Fuck!”

“Love my mouth do you?” Hot breath whispered in his ear as Lee’s fingers grabbed at his hips. “How about I make you come with just that, hmm? Or do you miss my cock…?”

“Lee...” Richard leant his forehead on the cool wood to try and hide his blushes.

“Maybe I should use both, we do have all afternoon.” The hands on his hips pulled Richard around so they were facing one another and lips were on his immediately, nipping and sucking at them to try and get them to open.  Richard gripped Lee’s arms, still unused to feeling pinned and trapped and unsure if he wanted to push him away or not. “I know you could, if you wanted.” Lee whispered against his cheek, a hand coming to grip his neck again as he leant back to look at Richard in the eyes. “How about it, hmm?”

The fingers at his neck squeezed carefully, no doubt meant to be a gentle gesture of support, but Richard was not in the mood for manhandling. He pulled the hand from his neck again and shoved Lee just hard enough to send him sprawling across the bed, bouncing gently at the force of his large body hitting the mattress.

“How about being less grabby, hmm?” He had not meant for his tone to be quite so angry, but he could not pull the words back no matter how much he wanted them to because Lee was looking stricken as he babbled out an apology. He only fell into a sheepish silence when Richard slowly crawled on the bed so he was on all fours over him. “I’m not angry, and I didn’t mean to push you so hard. I’m sorry. I should have just said…”

“No.” Lee smiled a little relieved smile, raising up on one elbow so he could run a hand over Richard’s back, “It’s okay, I should have got the message from the elevator. It’s okay. I quite liked being thrown onto the bed…”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Richard smiled, leaning down to kiss Lee gently- an apology that was enthusiastically received.

“So…” Lee grinned as he parted his legs for Richard to settle on top of him, dry hands exploring the expanse of Richard’s back under his shirt. “…what am I allowed to grab?”

“Has it been so, so very long since last time that you’ve forgotten?” Richard teased and let himself be rolled onto his back, settling himself amongst the decadent amount of pillows on the bed.

“What if I did?”

“What, forget?”

“Yeah.”

Richard giggled, raising an eyebrow at Lee. “I find that very hard to believe…”

“I know you’re insinuating things with that tone of yours.” Lee said with playfully narrowed eyes as he ripped his own shirt off and began tugging at Richard’s.

“Insinuating what things, Lee?”

“Don’t play innocent with me!” His t-shirt got chucked on the floor and finger-tips skimming along the waistband of his trousers. “If I did forget, would you let me explore so I could jog my memory?”

Richard shifted, not sure if Lee was suggesting some kind of role play and definitely not sure if he was up for it. “What are you asking me?”

“I’m asking...” Lee murmured against Richard’s collar bone, a place he seemed to like quite a lot, soft lips brushing the delicate skin, “…if you will let me kiss and touch…” warm fingers followed where lips had just been, “…every little bit of you until you’re shaking and pleading for me to make love to you and I will, slowly, carefully, deeply. Will you let me do that for you?”

Richard would be lying if that did not fill him with a little bit of dread at being laid so bare, being so vulnerable in front of another human being. He loved Lee so much, trusted him completely, but things like this, that left him with a fraction of his engrained self control, would always frighten him. He took a deep breath and pulled Lee in to kiss him, “Yes, yes I will. I’m a little…the thought of being stripped back like that is a bit frightening...um...but, as they say, doing what scares you lets you know you’re alive. And I do trust you, and I do love you.” He admitted, feeling his face burn but holding Lee’s gaze in defiance of his emotions.

“You…” Lee was giving him that adoring look again and Richard wanted to sink into the pillows and never come out. Warm brown eyes scanned his face, emotions flicking through his eyes- love, concern, relief, awe, love again- so rapidly Richard felt a little off kilter. “I will make it so good. I promise you will enjoy it. I promise.” He peppered Richard’s face with kisses to make him laugh, pulling back to smile down at him lovingly. “I got you, I’ve always got you.”

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An Epilogue of sorts

A murmur ran around the auditorium at the natural break in the music, the crowd taking the chance to shift and chat as the musicians took a small break.

Lee let out a breath as he smiled, the thrill the twists and turns and dramatic proclamations of the music remaining in his chest, turning at the nudge to his shoulder to look at Richard who’s expression wa , most likely, exactly like his own.

“Enjoying it then?”

“Fuck yeah.”

“Here’s me thinking you were treating me with Stravinksy.” Richard murmured, turning back to the stage while giving Lee’s hand a gentle squeeze. They had been jostling good naturedly for the armrest from the moment they first sat down to when the conductor strode out on stage. When the Orchestra was called to attention Lee had grabbed his hand, entwining their arms together on the padded armrest, and the only reaction Richard gave was to thread their fingers together securely.

“Treating you to my appreciation of the masters, s’what I’m doin’.” Richard quirked an amused eyebrow at Lee, shifting in his seat for the tenth time this evening. “You okay?”

“I’m fine as can be expected!” He had a clipped tone but it held no bitterness, and the look shot at Lee had little venom behind it.

  He did feel a little bad about that, but Richard had still agreed to everything Lee had whispered into his hair or against his skin the night before and, really, he was only human and Richard still looked as ready to ruin as he had a week ago. Even more so now Lee had had the chance to debauch him. Lee ran his tongue over his bottom lip as he though about how long it had taken to get him gasping and pleading, no doubt Richard being his usual obstinate self, so Lee had pushed him a little further, until the first moisture had welled in bright blue eyes, to give him what they both wanted. He did feel bad, always hated to see his lover so uncomfortable, but if Richard had minded at all there would be no hand holding going on right now.

“You’re flattery will get you everywhere.” Lee teased, running his thumb over the soft skin on the back of Richard’s hand.

“Flattery? So you think a bite mark on my arse, amongst _many_ other things, gets you flattery?”

“It’s a very pretty bite mark.”

Lee could track the blush flaring up from the collar of Richard’s immaculate dress shirt, tie firmly in place to hide the bruises sucked onto his collarbone, all the way to the line of his cheekbone.“You are incorrigible.”  He muttered, making it sound like a hundred I-love-you’s.

  Now the only appropriate response to that is to either whisper an ‘I love you’ back, press a fleeting kiss to one pink cheekbone, or fall silent with a silly look on your face (doubly appropriate when silence fell as the Orchestra readied to begin the next movement). Lee knew all of this, yet still leant over to whisper, “I took a picture it’s so pretty.”

  The brass section blared, demanding the attention and respect of the audience, but Richard’s head was slowly turning to look at him with a look of consternation so perfect Lee almost burst out laughing. They held each other’s gaze as Lee mouthed ‘ _Love you_ ’, grinning as Richard shook his head and turned back to the source of the music crashing over them with the full force of a stormy, passionate affair. 

  Fingers shifted beneath his own and for a horrible second Lee though Richard was going to drop his hand. Instead a thumb was stroking the inside of his wrist with a feather light touch that made warmth curl through him from his toes right up to the silly side of dirty grin he knew was growing on his face, which he tried to hide by propping his chin on his free hand with an air of nonchalance. That Lee could hear the zealous love making of the Stravinksy and Chanel in every note of the music composed during their torrid affair, every bar dripping with sex, really did not help his situation.

  Lee really wished he had booked out a box.

 


End file.
